After applying to a university to do a postgraduate course - going through the application procedure, sitting the relevant tests and going to the ongoing interviews - I stepped back for a while and looked at myself and what would happen if I went through with it. After a few weeks reflecting, I decided that I wasn't really pursuing what I wanted; it was what I thought I should want. 

I love writing and reading. It's all I have ever really loved and I knew that writing was the only job I could see myself doing for years and still enjoying. Now, unfortunately, you can't just sit and write and expect to earn big money. You need to start from the bottom and work your way up. As I have never worked in any environment that could lead me to become some sort of writer, I now have to start from the beginning. But I'm okay with that. I want to do it. I really want to do it. 

So I've cancelled my space at that university, I've stopped thinking of a career I might like to do and started imagining myself doing what I want to do. My first step towards that is writing voluntarily for an online magazine. Hopefully it will lead onto big and better things.

Lauren